Jan. 31st, 2015

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So, in between house chores today, I've been watching some horror movies on one of the cable channels.  Below are four things I learned today:

1.  If you're out on the lake with some young people, and one of those individuals is of Native American descent and telling you he feels bad mojo about the water, don't decide to go swimming anyway.  Instead, start rowing your a$$ off for shore as quickly as possible.  After all, he has hundreds of years of ancestral spirits on his side, so he probably knows what he's talking about.

2.  If you're camping in the woods with some young people, and you stumble on a weird-as-hell mountain man who tells you to leave cause there's 'monsters in these here parts', then pack up your crap as fast as possible and drive back to town.  After all, he's lived there a long time and most likely seen it all.  Besides, there's probably a nice hotel in town that serves free breakfast along with free wifi and cable tv.

3.  When tagging along with a group of young people to an old three story dilapidated house, if you hear a disembodied whisper tell you to GET OUT, then by all means turn around and get the hell out!  Obviously, the house doesn't want you there and is politely warning you that bad things will happen if you stay.

4.  If you go into space, and one of your crew members gets attacked by a creature that latches onto his face to deposit an alien egg, and the cat that you brought with you becomes inexplicably hostile towards this crew member, then for the love of all that's sacred in your world put him in a reinforced isolation chamber until all danger has passed.  Preferably one that has a direct disposal door into space.  After all, your cat is sensing the danger long before you will.

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